Well, such a thing may exist only in our dreams.
But thanks to a kind friend–Steven Volynets from GoodCleanTech–we’ve found something pretty close from a company called Simple Shoes. Affordable, cute, responsively sourced: yup, pretty close. The materials are hemp, organic cotton, jute, felt.
No cherry red or golden scales. We’re leaning toward the burnt brick.
$30. And named "Sleeve Me Alone."
Their website is strangely hard to navigate, though. Thanks to our friend, we didn’t have to hunt for the laptop sleeves for long; you won’t either, if you follow this link.